Being the Self-Titled-Yet-Obviously-True-Best-Wife-Ever I decided to gift my husband with a Tenga Reusable Vacuum Cup.

It is a play thing solely for him. So, I get no pleasure from it (unless possibly I watch). We have a few fun items in our toy box that have mutual benefit during intercourse or make for some foreplay fun, but nothing of this kind. A toy for a boy.

Why would one do such a thing?

  • His pleasure is as paramount to me as mine
  • Mutual masturbation is a wonderful way to learn how your partner enjoys to be touched
  • He is away a lot. And I am a jealous bitch. Rather the cup than anyone else, right?
  • For a bit of folly and fun
  • Adding new elements to your Boudoir is important, even if at first you may feel a bit squeamish, there is no reason you can’t push yourself comfortably out of your comfort zone
  • I had hoped this would open up a door for communication on a deeper level regarding our sexual relationship. How did you find it? What did you enjoy? All brilliant questions to lead into the next level of intimacy.

Pleased as punch, I handed him the awesome gift, and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

“Is this a joke? Babe?”

Explaining my points above he was more open but definitely not really interested, lacking in belief that this silicone jelly thingy would provide the same feel as the lovely vagina.

I giggled as he inspected it. Taking it out of its (pretty snazzy) metal packaging (this is also what you store the toy in once done. Yes, that’s right. It is completely washable and reusable!) he sniffed and poked and pulled and sussed and jiggled it and stretched it.

Men are like that, I figured out. Their penis is probably one of the most precious things they possess and as such if someone’s asks them to stick their manhood into a mould, best they know everything possible about it first.

Finally, he smiled.

“It feels pretty good actually, wanna try it?”

Are you kidding? I couldn’t wait! I stuck my finger into the entry hole and thrusted vigorously, only to find my skinny little finger had a strong suction created around it by the clever shape of the Air-Tech internal design.

I’m no physicist and I do not have a penis so I am merely going to try WOMAN-SPLAIN. The air technology creates a vacuum and a suction as you move in and out. This will hug around your penis, no matter the size and creates a lovely grip. (There are various grips available, I chose Strong).

And then it was off to the shower for play-time.

I am going to jot down exactly the words my hubby uttered:

“Wow, oh wow. That feels quite real.”

“Jeez that’s pretty good.”

Then, eyes wide, locked into mine, “I honestly did not expect this to feel so amazing.”

You can be pretty rough with it too, which he REALLY LOVED. The silicone is exceptionally supple yet exceptionally strong. It stretches and holds all at the same time. I can only imagine that that must be quite wonderful.

What’s also awesome is you have your hand doing the work that it has been doing for years. It knows you well… So, you can squeeze and release as tight or loose or as often as you want. You also control the exact rhythm of each stroke.

It’s like having a lady that actually knows what you want on the very first date without you having to utter a word of instruction.

The only complaint hubby had was that it could have been ‘warmer’. He explained that the delicious body heat of a natural human vagina is delicious, and the toy doesn’t have that heat initially. The shower helped, as did the vigorous friction.

All you need to do to wash it is turn it inside out (super simple) and rinse with water.

I also learned so much (and got so very, very turned on) by watching him. We are closer than we’ve ever been. If you too want to be a Best-Wife-Ever, this is the gift for the liberal couple x