There is an intrinsic problem with the way culture by and large looks at sex and sexuality. In America there is the metaphor of baseball (first base, second base, home run, you know the one) which through media and movies has spread to the rest of the world.

The trouble with this baseball metaphor is that it leads people to view sex as a game, a goal, and there is always a defending and attacking side, there is always a winner and a loser.

Sex is not a goal-orientated event! Or at least it shouldn’t be. Thinking that way leads people to do things they are not truly ready for, you end up experiencing things because “the game is on” rather than it’s your time and you want it. It even leads to empty promises just for the sake of winning the game.

Meatloaf (one of my favourite musicians) actually takes the baseball metaphor all the way in his song “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” if you’d like to listen to it here is a link. Pay attention to the outcome this attitude brings.

So, I have decided that SEX IS LIKE PIZZA.

Pizza on the other hand is a:

  • Shared experience (and you definitely don’t share your pizza with someone you don’t like!)
  • Celebration
  • Discussion (“What toppings should we go for tonight?”)
  • Sometimes even a Negotiation (“Yeah, I don’t really like that topping, how about we try this one instead?”)
  • You don’t just eat the pizza because its there (and if you do you may not like the toppings) you eat pizza because you want pizza!
  • You can taste the love in a well-prepared pizza!
  • Different Strokes for Different Folks (there is always a half and half option. That, dears, is called COMPROMISE)
  • Hard Limits (Let’s NOT get started on the pineapple debate!)
  • It’s. Amazing.Pizza is a far better metaphor if you ask me, but don’t take my word for it, watch this 9 minute TED talk by an American sexuality and society teacher. Then decide for yourself.