Bum Love

Bum Love

Bum Love – Anal sex is the last vestige of taboo topics in the world of feminine physical pleasure. I think it has a lot to do with the crude, and probably prepubescent male jargon surrounding the subject. Which prim and proper vixen would want to “pack fudge” or “ride the dirt road”?

It’s enough to turn even the most open-minded lady into a prude.


The “bottom” (excuse the pun) line is that the anal and perianal area is rich in nerve-endings, and exploring this part of the anatomy is a wonderful way to introduce some spice into your sexual endeavours; especially in a long-term marriage where the usual avenues have become a little ho hum. It adds the “dirty and illicit” naughtiness back into the boudoir.


Granted, it can be quite daunting, and even in a comfortable and non-judgmental environment like Boudoir Boutique, asking the relevant questions could cause cotton-mouth and heart palpitations. So, I’ve compiled a brief breakdown from personal experience that I’ve found to make things go along a bit smoother.


1.) Set The Scene

The first thing I would do is create a romantic setting. Dim lights, soft music, candles… make the occasion special and sensual, so you’ll feel like a sexual goddess, and not a trashy tart.


Apart from the sensual stuff (and there is plenty at Boudoir Boutique to help you along, such as massage candles, environment oil burners, lingerie, etc) for the purpose of bum love, there are some vital amenities:


  • Lubrication

Water-based; paraben free and flavourant free, is a must. You really do want to go with a top quality product here, as obviously, the anus does not produce lubrication of its own. Flavourants or stimulants, however natural, could cause some internal irritation. Intimate Earth Anal Lube is perfect examples of such a product. Pjur Woman BodyGlide (a silicone based lubricant, so not for use with toys) is also a great product.


  • Condoms

The skin inside the anus is delicate and prone to tearing in normal day to day activities, making it easy for infections to spread, so consider using a condom for bum love. Another reason for the condom is, if he is going to pull out of the anus and move to the vagina, the sheath can be removed, again to remove risk of any bacterial spread.


2.) Relaxation is KEY

A glass of wine does wonders, combined with a little light-hearted conversation in a pre-performance bubble bath. It is vital to discuss all the angles with your partner first so you both have an idea of what your expectations and fears are… and it raises the anticipation and excitement levels, too! And, remember your man is probably as nervous as you. This has the potential of being a bonding experience for the two of you, a wonderfully intimate experience shared with the one you love.

Don’t over-do the vino though, as you’re more at risk of getting sloppy and careless.


4.) Foreplay

Foreplay is a great idea too (isn’t it always!?) as you should be as aroused as possible. In order to help relax, one could also use a lay-on vibe for a little clitoral stimulation (you can read about our marvellous selection here) which will transport your mind to the land of pleasure, and it can also be used perianally… and another great product is the G-Plug Neon Rose which is actually used for anal stimulation, which can then be used to relax those sphincter muscles further.


5.) Sensitising Creams / Spray

There are products on the market that promise to desensitize the area and open the sphincter. I do not recommend most of these at all. Most of these products are cheap and nasty (two adjectives which no lady wants to be applied to herself!), cause irritation or the risk of infection, and it is imperative that you feel what is going on down there to avoid the risk of waking up the next morning uncomfortable and sore because you were numb during the act and didn’t realize you were going at it a little too harshly for your body’s liking! Be wary of any product containing Lidocaine. The only one I would recommend for safe use is Pjur’s Analyse Me Spray


6.) A Word On Poo

One of the first questions ever asked is “will there be poo” ?
The main area that faecal matter is stored is the colon which is about 25cm in. So the likelihood of large amounts of embarrassing waste is highly unlikely. If, however, the thought of possible mess is terrifying to you, you can use an Anal Douche Kit. It sounds daunting but is safe and effective.

Keep a couple of wet-wipes next to the bed for extra precaution, and lay down a washable sheet for peace of mind.


7.) Do Some Stretches

It is advisable to open the anus before. And the best way, is with the hand. Let him lube up his fingers and slowly go exploring with the pinky while he kisses your sweet spots. Not enough not to climax yet, we still need to get to the main event!

You may worry, too,that you will be stretched beyond recovery post-bum-love. This is not true. Up to 24 hours after anal play there can be slightly looser than normal feeling, but those strong muscles spring back into place.


8.) Ready, Set…. Go!

The best position for first time bum love is spooning. Why? Because it’s gentle, you can reach around and hold his penis, guiding it in further gently as you feel you’re ready, and he is less likely to get carried away and “thrusty” in this position. Once you’ve mastered this position and are feeling more confident you can really get creative.


So, how to do it? In the spooning position, let him push the tip of his penis against the anal opening. You then push back against him until it slips inside, take it slow and push back more and more, giving yourself time to adjust. Let him hold the top of your hips for leverage… deep breath… and you’re doing it!