How I Learned to Love My Mommy-Rolls
I am a first time mom, and I have struggled to lose the extra baby fat. But I am happy to report I have come to accept that my shape is likely never going to be the same as pre-pregnancy. And now, my thicker hips and bubbling belly have come to symbolise the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. And I am having the best sex of my life with a partner who adores the curves of the mother of his child! How did I do it?
We all have different bodies; slim, short, tall, curvy, skinny, muscled, plump and so on. If I am really honest with myself, I wasn’t too kind about my pre-pregnancy body either. I want to encourage you to stop all negative opinions about your body, and comparing to anyone else’s (I bet you they find flaws with themselves, too, and have parts they wish they could change). Dreaming of a Halle Berry figure is impacting negatively on you!
We are not all blessed to have a body type like Heidi Klum’s. After 4 babies she is still Catwalk ready! For some of us, it might be challenging to open up to our partner sexually after having a baby. I mean, the baby is out, but my big tummy is still there! It naturally dampened my self-confidence a bit. And after a long day with a baby, poop, feeding, burping and spit-up all over me, I did not feel like sexy time at all. Initially I didn’t even want to be hugged. And this started to take a toll on my relationship. I knew I had some work to do.
I needed to claim back my own identity, feel sexy again, and allow myself to be intimately appreciated and pampered by my partner.
But how do you start liking your new rounder figure?
And then, how could you possibly feel sexy in this foreign body?
I decided I didn’t need to put too much pressure on myself. If I did not feel quite ready to make love yet, I forgave myself. Putting pressure on the situation will only make you resent it more.
But it is also important to let your partner know that you don’t feel physically ready. Communication is key! Just saying the magic words “I just don’t feel ready yet, but I do love you and I am working on it,” completely put his mind at ease that it wasn’t anything he was doing wrong.
And then I had to keep to my side of the bargain, and do the work!
I started by connecting with my own body. I stood in front of a full-length mirror, naked. Looked at my new rounder figure, and said only kind and wonderful things to it. I rubbed massage oils over my body and thanked it.
Exploring new sexy lingerie I found very helpful, indeed. There are only very few women who feel completely comfortable in a skimpy bra and a barely-there thong under bright lights. VERY FEW! But there is a wide range of gorgeous, figure flattering (and flabby tummy concealing) lacy numbers that are sensual and seductive and made me feel like a goddess. Initially, when my partner and I did start reconnecting I didn’t take these items off during intercourse. And that’s ok! I wasn’t ready to be naked, but he still loved what he saw and felt J
My favourite type were Chemise. Have a look at this example….
I was also scared that my vagina was not the same anymore. So I explored that, too. See for yourself what your lady bits look like with a small mirror. I was scared intercourse might be sore or feel different so I started exploring my own pleasure again. I started being loving towards myself… and then making love to myself. One important thing I did learn here is that I struggled to lubricate (which is very natural with post-pregnancy hormones and also under periods of stress. Um, I just had my first baby. Stress was definitely a part of my life!). So off I went to buy some natural lubricant.
Be patient and kind to yourself. It takes time. And before you know it – you will look forward to scheduling love making times around your baby’s sleep times.
I have found my partner and I are having the best sex of our lives post-baby. It’s definitely not as often, but it is deeper and more intimate and loving. Our communication and mutual respect has grown ten-fold. Imagine if I had just shut him out because I was worried he wouldn’t like my fatty mommy rolls (they’re still there by the way)? I am so glad I didn’t.