Sensual Stimuli – Bring Some into Your Boudoir!

Sensual Stimuli

Today I would like to talk about sex toys. First and foremost I strongly dislike the term ‘sex toy’ as it cheapens the object and experience and almost makes it sound like some sort of juvenile play-thing not to be taken seriously. I prefer the term ‘sensual stimulus’.

Secondly, I believe it could be beneficial to any couple (of any orientation) to, on occasion, introduce sensual stimuli. There seems to be a misconception that certain sexual experiences “belong” to either the straight or gay realms, and I vehemently disagree with this sentiment.

I am a member of a few LGBT groups on Facebook and one day the topic of strap-ons came up on a Lesbian forum. One of the comments was “well if you want to be penetrated by a penis, why don’t you just sleep with men?”

I had a good chuckle at the closed mindedness of such a statement and replied as follows: Enjoying penetration has quite frankly nothing to do with sexual orientation. Women do not have only one g-spot, we have a few. They cause different types of orgasms when stimulated correctly. There are probably more clinical terms for the different types of orgasms and I could very well be missing a few but I have identified four:

The clitoral orgasm, the labial orgasm, the inner yoni orgasm and the deep uterine orgasm. The first two are exquisite and electric. The third is engulfing and can cause shaking and even squirting and this g-spot can be reached with the fingers. But it is the forth one that I would like to talk about. This one can only be reached with a 6 inch plus object of penetration. It is a deep, whole body sensation and sends shivers up your spine and into your head and can put you in states of deep trance… it is quite magnificent. Because it is so deep and the object of penetration needs to also be quite thick to ensure the sensation of being ‘filled’ is reached, it is a slow process at first… entering the yoni needs to be gentle and to take some time and a good lube will be essential. If your girlfriend has not yet experienced the ‘deep-uterine orgasm’ you are robbing her of a very pleasurable and mind blowing experience, so drop your stereotypes honey and explore a little.

Really, it comes down to personal preference and your own desires and tastes, which can be discovered through self-exploration or partner play. This remains my advice to any couple: Explore a little.

Now to the straight couples, men in particular…

It seems for most men, great sex is about how many positions they can penetrate a women in, completely ignoring the various delightful areas found all over the human body. All too often have I heard straight women confess that they feel they would insult their lover if they suggested using a sex toy (hence stimulating the various erogenous zones ignored by penetration alone).

Mention foreplay and the immediate association is cunnilingus. Although oral sex is a great way to turn a woman on and start her off on a wonderfully electric orgasm, there are SO many other ways of enjoying foreplay (or non-penetrative sex). There are small vibrating stimuli that can be used to stimulate the labia and turn all the nerve endings into high and sensitive alert, but there is also the full body massage. There are few things that can be as arousing as a long, slow sensual full body massage using different oils and exploring the different heat sensations and fragrances.

Also what about sitting on top of one another and swaying to the sounds of meditation music and just touching and feeling one another’s skin and running your fingers through one another’s hair? What about letting him gently tear off your fishnet lingerie you bought earlier that afternoon with his teeth? What about flirty texts sent throughout the work day? Foreplay can be made up of so many exciting and vulnerable experiences of the mind, body and soul, that exclude penetration. The key here is to explore one another. Dive deep into as many different sensations as possible.

There are so many wonderful sensual items out there that can be used to stimulate a plethora of sensations and bring on wondrous orgasms. And guys, don’t be afraid of your women using some stimuli on you too. I have heard from many of my male friends that the vibrating cockring is an incredible stimulant that they almost always want to use.

We trust and use technological items every day of our lives to stimulate and enhance our experiences so why should our sex lives be any different? Imagine your life without your phone or the internet? I believe we are living in an age where there are no limits to what we could feel and experience within our minds as well as our bodies.

So for all the lovers out there:

Open your mind, open your body…. and explore a little!

  • Michelle L. Geldenhuys